What do you say at a Japanese funeral?

The following are general phrases to offer condolences at a Japanese funeral or wake: – Goshuushou-sama desu (You must be grieving terribly.) This can be used no matter your relationship to the person. – O-kuyami moushiagemasu (I offer my condolences.)

How do you honor the dead in Japan?

The majority of funerals (葬儀, sōgi or 葬式, sōshiki) in Japan include a wake, the cremation of the deceased, a burial in a family grave, and a periodic memorial service. According to 2007 statistics, 99.81% of deceased Japanese are cremated.

How do Japanese mourn?

The kichu-fuda is a mourning custom which lasts one day. The wake itself, where family and friends is called tsuya, which literally means “the passing of the night.” The wake is held as soon after the death as is possible. … The family will also perform other rituals during this time of mourning.

What is koden?

The “koden”, or condolence gift is standard. … The amount of the gift, which is used to help pay for the funeral, is usually between ¥5,000 and ¥30,000, depending on your relation to the deceased. If you are unsure how much to give, ask other colleagues – NOT the family of deceased.

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Where are Japanese funerals held?

The next morning the body is taken, in a slow procession, to the place where services will be held. Depending on the means and preferences of the family, this might be a temple or a more secular facility. Some cities host a combined funeral parlor, overnight lodging, and crematorium.

How do you send a condolence message?


  1. “We are so sorry for your loss.”
  2. “I’m going to miss her, too.”
  3. “I hope you feel surrounded by much love.”
  4. “Sharing in your sadness as you remember Juan.”
  5. “Sharing in your sadness as you remember Dan.”
  6. “Sending healing prayers and comforting hugs. …
  7. “With deepest sympathy as you remember Robert.”

What do you leave at a Japanese grave?

After cleaning the grave, family members offer foods and fruits that the deceased enjoyed when they were alive. Flowers are also always placed at the grave. Chrysanthemum flowers are very common, but any flower the deceased liked may also be placed.

How do Japanese honor the dead at home?

The main offerings are fruit, rice, green tea, sake and some special lotus shaped sweets. They will also set out paper lanterns ( 提灯 ちょうちん , chouchin) called mukaebi ( 迎 むか え 火 び ) to guide the spirits back to their homes. Another custom is to carry the lanterns to the graves in order to call their ancestors back home.

Why do Japanese leave water at graves?

What is it that Japanese people do when they go to a Japanese cemetery? The relatives that visit the cemetery are the ones who typically clean the grave. They bring with them a bucket and a dipper, and pour water in order to wash the body of the family gravestone as shown in the picture above.

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What do you write on a koden envelope?

You should write your post code, address, and name on the rear of the naka-bukuro. Even if you have written your name on the koden-bukuro (outer envelope), you should write your address, including the post code, and name again on the rear of the naka-bukuro.

What do you write on a condolences envelope?

What to Write in a Sympathy Card With Money

  1. I’m so sorry about the passing of your loved one, please accept this gift from my family to yours.
  2. Please accept this gift from my family to yours.
  3. Please accept this gift from my heart to yours in this time of loss.

How much should you give for condolences?

$20 can be a big help if that’s all you can afford.

If you can afford more and want to give it though, it will be appreciated.